This is Tara Galeano, sexual empowerment coach at Rediscovering My Body.
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And so I’ll be speaking today about some things that I’ve noticed in terms of sexual communication.So sexual communication is oftentimes something that we don’t have a fluency with. Or at least that’s what I see.
And the people that I work with, and they’re not really comfortable speaking about their genitalia. They don’t really have words for it. They imagine their partner should know, maybe through mind reading or body language, what it is that turns them on. Although they’ve never spoken it, they’ve probably never even spoken it out loud to them. And that’s really where we need to begin.
And so I wanted to say a little bit about that, particularly in terms of how women speak their desire and how they reference themselves and their genitalia. I still have women coming into my office saying down there, I guess they’re not coming into my office anymore. They’re coming into my Zoom room and referencing themselves without a specific vocabulary.
And we’re not engage with specificity.Then it’s difficult to really express our true desire And so one of the things that I often recommend to my clients is and I’ll take my little prop here to use a mirror and to speak those words out loud to yourself, because who loves you more, right?
Who loves you more than you? And to be able to speak those words out loud is really powerful. And then what does that do that gives you some practice to be able to speak that out loud with your partner so important that you’ve got those words that you can say what it is that you desire.
So number one, and then number two, what I also see, and
I’m surprised. But sometimes people say Yes when they really need me now. And Wow, that’s difficult stuff. And so if you’re in a loving, trusting relationship filled with respect and kindness that you can really relax into the opportunity to speak your truth, and sometimes we’ve been conditioned.
Sometimes we’ve had unwanted sexual contact.Sometimes we’ve had trauma that prevents us from really speaking our truth. And so the practice begins again in the mirror and then being able to say, no.
No, I don’t wish for you to touch me there. No, I don’t wish for you to do that. No, I don’t want to do that. So really claiming, you know, and you can practice with your partner if you’re out of practice by saying no to something that you know you’re not going to want. I don’t want to eat Brussel sprouts. No, I’m not eating those Brussel sprouts. You made me no, thank you.
So I can begin with innocuous. But the no, it’s true. And when you feel that no, you can really live into your Yes. And so feeling the now in your body, allowing your partner to feel the know within you of like, Oh, that’s what it really feels like.
And to be able to push against that, and that that’s okay. So they can really get a felt sense of that what she means by now. Yes.Because then the yeses are going to be so much more powerful, so much more pleasurable, so much more believable. So that was number two.
And number three also goes along with the sexual communication is to ask for what it is that you want.And when you’re asking, it’s an invitation. It’s an offering, and you may get to know, and that that’s okay. But it is to ask the permission that we seek from our lover. Is it okay if I touch you here? How about if I stroke you there? It’s okay to ask for permission, because what I think what I know is that when we based our love lives or sexual interactions on assumptions where going in this habitual pattern that doesn’t serve anybody, that’s not really that exciting. But to ask and to gather a consent is really sexy. So I invite you to try that.
So those are my three tips on sexual communication today. So the first one is speak it to yourself, use a mirror.And no is powerful, because then it leads to a great feeling of Yes. And then the final one is to ask for consent always and continuously, even with the partner that you’ve been with for decades. Okay. I hope you found this helpful if you did Subscribe to the link below. Would love if you like this video and share it with others, and I would love your comments. I would love more engagement. Would love to know what you would like to see videos about. Okay You will. much love.
